Conferences and teacher/parent meetings

We were talking in class today about conferences and other teacher's meetings with parents. I have been thinking alot about it, and feel like I need to let all my fellow future teachers know how the parents you meet with feel.

I am a white, middle class, college educated woman, with a supportive family who loved school, and has nothing but positive memories of school. I know the teachers well. I volunteer at the school, I have been on the PTO board for years, have served on the technology committee for the school, am the school's bond and levy representive. I am on a first name basis with the principal, and know her well enough to have her actually sends me funny emails . I am not the norm. And yet, I am nervous before every conference. My palms sweat, my stomach is tight, I have overwhelming feelings of protection for my children. If I feel that way, what do others feel like?

When I went in for an IEP conference for my daughter, with all these people I know and have worked with, I was intimidated. It was a them and us, all of them on one side, my husband and I on the other. In my head I know that these people are here because they care. I know that they are here to try to help, but it still feels like I have failed in some way. I have given birth to someone who is not perfect. They have all been analyzing my child and passing judgement on her, and on my parenting.

With 4 kids, I have been to many conferences, most of them good, but still I get a bit nervous before each one. I would like to pass on some things that some teachers over the years have done which I have appreciated greatly.

First - Make it a comfortable environment. Don't put the parents in little kids chairs while you sit in the big chair. Candy is a great ice breaker. My husband loves the teachers who have candy in a bowl, the sweets make the conference sweet he says. Some teachers put out tableclothes on the table, with candles, have coffee and water. This is all nice, but doesn't fit everyone. A bowl with tootsie rolls, jolly ranchers, kisses, etc. is simple and a great ice breaker.
Put up kids' work in the hall outside the door, parents stand out there while they are waiting for you to finish the previous family, and it is nice to look at the kids work while you are waiting.

Second -be welcoming. We talked about this a little today, but greet the parents. I know you don't have much time, and have alot to cover, but take the time to say hello. Ask them how they are. It really does set a nice tone to things.

Third --start with the positive. Tell them how much you like their child. Tell them about something cute, funny, or nice their child did recently. Parents know their child isn't perfect, but they like to know the good stuff.

Fourth -- Show them their student's work, mix in the good and bad, don't just show them the bad things. Their strengths and weaknesses.

Last -- don't forget to ask them if they have any concerns.


Most of all remember. This is their baby you are talking about. Whether they are 6 or 16, this is still their baby. Remember they are nervous too. Remember you both want what is best for the student. You are on the same team.

Lend a Helping Hand

I have been asking myself the same thing lately...am I really prepared to teach. Can I apply what I am reading and experiencing in the classroom on my own and in my own future classroom? It is one thing to read about something, but it is quite another to put it into practice (sometimes on the spot)!

I think it gets back to not being afraid to ask for help. Like we talked about in class today, if we are not sure of an answer, be honest! Ask for help. Turn a potentially embarrassing situation into an opportunity to invite others (students included) to work with you to come to a conclusion.

Speaking of technology... here is a blog posting from one of my favorite blogs. She discusses the importance of teachers helping each other overcome their technology troubles.

http://bettyb.teacherlingo.com/default.aspx

How much is enough?

So as I sit here after math class and everyone being long gone, a question keeps going through my mind... How much is enough? Robin brought up the fact that many teachers only have a "2" on the Vanhealy (?) geometry scale so how are their students going to get to a "3" to make it in that subject in later grades? Some of us already are realizing that we do not know enough math for what the kids need to learn these days while some of us can solve the most advanced problems. I realize that teachers need to be well rounded in all subject matters but how much is enough? I think of all the classes we have taken and I wonder...Do I know enough about multi-cultural education? Literacy? Do I know my diphthongs from my phonemes? How are my mapping skills? History? Maybe it's not that I wonder if I know enough, it's if I know enough of the "right" stuff. Yes, my brain is full of useless trivia and I do realize that I am a relatively intelligent person but I still am left feeling inadequate at times. I am sure I am not alone in this as others have expressed the same concerns. Do teachers who have been in the profession for many years still feel this way? Do we ever truly know enough? Obviously we as teachers need to constantly be learning as well but is professional development really enough to keep teachers up to date on everything? Then you throw in technology and i wonder if many teachers really know enough to be teaching the future of our country. Not looking to solve the problems of the universe here or really expect any tangible answers but just putting down some of my thoughts...

The "Obama Effect" for test scores

There is an interesting article about the possible positive side effects of having an African American in the highest office in the country.
Check out this article.
This is very interesting considering the Nieto chapter 2 we just read about African American children not wanting to succeed at school because it negates their culture.

More money for schools???

I came home today feeling gloomy. We had a staff meeting after school and the principal said she had bad news...then talks of budget cuts progressed and she informed the staff that a "seniority" list was being created at the district office because new teachers were on the chopping block. She basically said they had to somehow cut several million dollars from the budget and some special programs would be cut...class sizes would be getting bigger and there would be fewer teachers on the payroll. She said she just wanted to be honest and realistic with the staff so they knew what was going on and wouldn't be taken by surprise. Of course, a fellow cohort member and I were quite disturbed by the news...we will be looking for jobs when many more experienced teachers could be losing theirs! And I don't want to stand on my soapbox for long but it's a shame that it's simply a decision of cutting new teachers when in fact they may be even more effective than some "old" teachers. But that is another discussion to be had at a later date! Anyway...so I come home and open my email and here is this newsletter I got talking about how much money education could be receiving as a result of the new stimulus package. Pretty interesting stuff if you read the article and also the comments people have left..... interesting stuff indeed....

http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2009-01-19-school-stimulus_N.htm

READicide part 2

You can download a 160 page pdf here...I just finished reading it...good stuff!

http://www.stenhouse.com/assets/pdfs/gallagher%20readicide_pp1-160.pdf

And I LOVE the quote at the very beginning of the book... For those educators who resist the political in favor of the authentic

READicide

I thought this fit in perfectly with our literacy class. Should be a very interesting book to read...

http://thedreamteacher.blogspot.com/

JustOneThing

Tags: Web2.0 classroom technology tools apps

So I came across the video about the one thing that teachers need to know about using technology in the classroom. After watching it, it seems like, duh? I can do that. Of course , now the trick is actually doing it.

I am finding it is hard to think about incorporating technology when there are no computers in the classroom. They do have a computer lab, but only get 1/2 hour a week in it, and not everyone has a computer, and it is not the day I am there. I can try to trade spots with another teacher who has the lab on the days I am there. I am going to have to try to brainstorm ways to incorporate technology for this class. Any ideas or suggestions are most welcome.

I admit it - I'm a Homework Hater

I admit it. As a parent, I hate homework. I resent it. When my kids come home from school I ask the required parental question " do you have homework?" Secretly I have my fingers crossed behind my back hoping that they say no, or that they did it already. When they say no, especially when all four of them say no, I want to jump up on the counter and do a little happy dance. I have often wondered if this makes me a bad parent, a bad partner to my child's education, or evil in an educational way.

I also wonder if teachers really know what goes on with their students after they leave school. They can't be completely clueless to everything their students do. On any given day after school we may be juggling sports practices or games, (soccer, football or basketball depending on the time of year for us, and we don't do baseball or volleyball like some families), music lessons, drama club, chess club, doctor, dentist or orthodondist appointments, play dates, cooking, eating dinner, chores and all the other day to day life stuff. We don't do dance, gymnastics, church activities or scouts as many other families do as well. Sometimes we like to do family stuff -- like play, or snuggle, talk about our days, read a book or watch tv together.

So when they answer that yes they do have homework I know that our whole afternoon and evening is going to change. Suddenly I feel like I become the bad guy. I have to remind, cajole, nag, plead, beg, order, yell, convince and hope that they will do their homework. There are tears, temper tantrums, hurt feelings, pouting, screaming, throwing and breaking things -- and not all of them from the kids. So many times I look at their homework and feel like I have time traveled to a younger version of myself, and feel the insecurity again of not knowing what I am doing. I am supposed to be smarter than my children, yet often I find myself baffled by their homework, or I'm told I am doing it wrong. When they have homework the whole feeling of the evening will change. The loving, snuggling, fun, free to do whatever we want day is gone. Instead the day will be changed, it will be more tense, more stressful, and less fun.

And the guilt if we don't do it. My first grader has a homework log. Each night we are supposed to record the amount of time we spend doing homework, and what kind we do, spelling, math flash cards, dolche words, or read alouds. We are supposed to hit 100+ minutes a week, and the students are keeping a running graph of their homework minutes. At conferences I was told that we had only turned in our homework log sheet 60% of the time. Sixty percent. My son has a D in first grade because I haven't filled out his homework log efficiently enough. I admit -- I have been fudging on his homework log. I don't keep track, and on now on Sunday night I just fill in random times on the days to make it look good. Am I going to hell for this? I don't know. I know my life and my child are happier.

And my older kids? The guilt is worse there, because of course, their grades matter more. I know that in theory they are old enough, they are supposed to be responsible for their own homework and the consequences if they don't get it done. However, in reality, if they don't get it done, the parents get called, get the letters home that must be signed and returned. In those calls or notes I feel the underlying accusation that my parenting skills are at fault, that somehow I have failed because their homework isn't getting done and turned in. I get the helpful newsletters which recommend having a set time, a quiet place free of distractions set aside for their individual use. Ha! And how do you decide when to step in and how much to interfere, and whether to let them learn to fail or succeed on their own? And isn't it the school's responsibilite to deal with this, and mine to deal with all the other things that come up, like missed curfews and sibling rivalry?

I don't want it to sound like I don't care about my kids' education. I do. We do things together at night. We play games, which I tell myself covers the math facts. We read. We do fun experiments (currently we have eggs in vinegar and blue food coloring on the window sill). We go out to walk the dog and look at the changing seasons, collect rocks, leaves, bugs and other things we find along the way. We cook together and measure out the ingredients. We measure how much the kids have grown. We sing silly songs. We color, and draw and paint and make playdough. We watch movies. We play legos and create space ships that will travel to far away lands, and think up names for the next Mars Rover. We take trips, like to the Museum of Flight, or the beach.

So now, as a future teacher, I have to ask myself what will I do about homework? I listen to some of my fellow interns talk about different school districts having requirements for the amount of homework, increasing for each grade. I read studies which dispute the effectiveness of homework. I struggle with the idea of giving something to my students that I as a parent despise. I wonder about my perceived teacher impressions of me and my childrens homework. I wonder if we are normal, or if we are at the "really bad homework people" end of the spectrum. Do other families hate homework as much as me? Do they do it anyway, or do they fudge the reading logs and homework logs minutes too? Am I a homework rebel? Do my childrens' teachers mutter under their breath about my lack of support in the homework area? As a teacher will I judge children and parents by whether they turn in homework or not?

Reading "Creating Welcoming Schools" by JoBeth Allen this week has made me feel better about my homework hate. It made me realize I am not alone.

Unfortunately it doesn't solve any problems. I walked in tonight after a long day of school to ask the dreaded question, and the even more dreaded answer. Four yes-es. Ugh. One temper tantrum, one teary break down, one snit, one yelling contest and one "we don't do it that way" later we are done. One more fun loving family evening gone.