Conferences and teacher/parent meetings

We were talking in class today about conferences and other teacher's meetings with parents. I have been thinking alot about it, and feel like I need to let all my fellow future teachers know how the parents you meet with feel.

I am a white, middle class, college educated woman, with a supportive family who loved school, and has nothing but positive memories of school. I know the teachers well. I volunteer at the school, I have been on the PTO board for years, have served on the technology committee for the school, am the school's bond and levy representive. I am on a first name basis with the principal, and know her well enough to have her actually sends me funny emails . I am not the norm. And yet, I am nervous before every conference. My palms sweat, my stomach is tight, I have overwhelming feelings of protection for my children. If I feel that way, what do others feel like?

When I went in for an IEP conference for my daughter, with all these people I know and have worked with, I was intimidated. It was a them and us, all of them on one side, my husband and I on the other. In my head I know that these people are here because they care. I know that they are here to try to help, but it still feels like I have failed in some way. I have given birth to someone who is not perfect. They have all been analyzing my child and passing judgement on her, and on my parenting.

With 4 kids, I have been to many conferences, most of them good, but still I get a bit nervous before each one. I would like to pass on some things that some teachers over the years have done which I have appreciated greatly.

First - Make it a comfortable environment. Don't put the parents in little kids chairs while you sit in the big chair. Candy is a great ice breaker. My husband loves the teachers who have candy in a bowl, the sweets make the conference sweet he says. Some teachers put out tableclothes on the table, with candles, have coffee and water. This is all nice, but doesn't fit everyone. A bowl with tootsie rolls, jolly ranchers, kisses, etc. is simple and a great ice breaker.
Put up kids' work in the hall outside the door, parents stand out there while they are waiting for you to finish the previous family, and it is nice to look at the kids work while you are waiting.

Second -be welcoming. We talked about this a little today, but greet the parents. I know you don't have much time, and have alot to cover, but take the time to say hello. Ask them how they are. It really does set a nice tone to things.

Third --start with the positive. Tell them how much you like their child. Tell them about something cute, funny, or nice their child did recently. Parents know their child isn't perfect, but they like to know the good stuff.

Fourth -- Show them their student's work, mix in the good and bad, don't just show them the bad things. Their strengths and weaknesses.

Last -- don't forget to ask them if they have any concerns.


Most of all remember. This is their baby you are talking about. Whether they are 6 or 16, this is still their baby. Remember they are nervous too. Remember you both want what is best for the student. You are on the same team.