I have to admit to feeling a bit adrift this weekend. We had our last classes, all my assignments are done and turned in, and I find myself asking - "what do I do now?". You would think I would be dancing around the house singing and laughing and cheering that I made it this far and have no more classes, yet I find myself stopping and thinking, in an almost panicky sort of way " What am I forgetting?" I keep checking my computer, checking blackboard, checking my calendar, sure I have missed something. Perhaps I am entering into withdrawal. I feel like I should be printing up 50 pages of readings for the week, posting messages or responses to bulletin boards, writing papers, writing lesson plans... and yet there is nothing to do. I feel adrift and a little lost.
I know, you are all shaking your heads at me and thinking " freak", but it is true. I have been so used to spending all weekend doing readings and homework, it will take me a little while to adjust to not having that routine and getting into a new one.
Then of course I start thinking about the future. I know in theory I am educated and prepared for teaching. I know all the buzz words, studied the developmental stages of learning, different learning styles, ways to integrate curriculum, ways to be culturally sensitive and all that. I have passed the tests, taken all the courses, done the papers and reflections. I am ready.
But am I really? Will I be able to handle this? What will happen when it is just me and a room full of twenty-four 2nd graders? Will I be able to teach them, or will I do something that will mar their little minds for the rest of their lives? Maybe I will forget to teach them something vital, or fail to explain something to them that will change the way they look at academics for the rest of their educational existence? Will my class roar out of control and look like something you see on an episode of the Simpsons?
I guess the only way to know for sure is to face my fears. To tackle them straight on, and to try my best each and every day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Yes, I was thinking "freak"! Especially because I am sitting here trying to finish my science unit and sooooo eagerly anticipating submitting this last assignment!!!
And like your post I keep thinking "Am I really ready?" as I think about taking over the class in a few short weeks. I have a feelign that during spring break I will be doing a lot of planning and studying of the district curriculum! I feel like there is still so much I have not learned yet! You're not alone!
Post a Comment